10 things you can do for yourself to be a better parent. #7, Heal the Past

Aug 18 2008

This is part 7 of a 10 part parenting series, you can read the previous post Top 10 things you can do for yourself to be a better parent. #6 Have Passion! by clicking here.

#7 Heal The Past.

I have to say, this is the biggest and most difficult thing preventing me from being as close as I can with my son. Sometimes I feel shrouded and taken over by the past. And in those moments, I’m not in the present, and I’m definitely not the best parent I can be.

I see this all the time with other parents, at the playground, at the grocery store, the mall. Parents reacting, living from the past. Getting triggered by their children and reliving out their own past, like a broken record.

Research shows that we do what was done to us, whether we like it or not. The only exception to this is consciously choosing differently. Even if we WANT to make different choices, they are extremely difficult to execute, and requires constant diligence, discipline and focus.

I could talk all day about this, but there’s a great article with Peter Haiman that discusses this in detail, click here to see “What Every Parent Needs to Know”.

When we let go of the past and heal the trauma of our own childhoods, we are more free to live in the NOW.

Here are some great things that you can do which will help heal your past:

• Study yoga or meditation - This will quiet the mind, heal the body and allow things to move through you more quickly and easily. Click here to find a yoga class in your area .
• Use Holosync - Holosync is a great program by Bill Harris that puts the mind into a meditative state through various sounds and music. It has an overall calming and healing effect. Click here to find out more about Holosync.
• Find someone to talk to, like a psychotherapist or Counselor. A very powerful style of psychotherapy that I recommend is Core Energetics, click here to find a core-energetics therapist in your area.
• If Core Energetics isn’t available in your area, an alternate therapy is Bio-Energetics.
• If you would like to explore your own past and childhood alone or with your partner or spouse IMAGO therapy is the most effective way to do this.
• Landmark education is also something I encourage everyone to do. Landmark supports people in living powerfully and a life they love.
• Peak Potentials offers some great courses, that provide avenues of healing. One of my favorite programs!
• If you check the resource section there’s a book list for more information.

These practices, courses, workshops are the most powerful tools I’ve found in allowing myself to lead a happier and more fulfilling life.

If not for you, do it for your children.